So... it's been 5 days since I've blogged...

It's been a busy week... Sunday begins Holy Week and, as an employee of the church, I've had a lot to accomplish to make sure my responsibilities and ministries are ready for the week to come.  

This week, the fifth week of Lent, has been another week of carrying burdens... but after the burdens I recognized for the first three weeks of Lent, these were easier for me to give to God.  Two weeks ago, I attended a Lenten Quiet Day of Meditation, led by our assistant priest, Mother Nan.  It was a wonderful day, full of revelations for me... full of realizations, recognitions, and relinquishing control.  I came to many crossroads through the meditations I participated in that day... one of which was at the foot of the cross, raising my hands together towards Christ, offering my burdens for Him to take from me.

The realizations and revelations that I've discovered this week have been hard... but in many instances, I have found myself asking God what He wants me to be in each moment... to help me be what He needs me to be rather than being what I think I should be.  Through these moments, I have been learning that I am not called to carry every burden that I encounter.  That's a hard truth to realize... I am not the Messiah... nor do I want to be... but I do serve Him... through loving others... in the way that they need to be loved.

Today, I read Mark Chapter 10... many things caught my attention, but the one that I envisioned as I read through was Mark 10:25. "It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich person to enter the kingdom of God."   As I thought and meditated, began drawing and then painting, I came to realize that the earthly riches that I have a tendency to collect, while they aren't tangible, are just that... earthly... pride and respect, honor and admiration, affection and acceptance, trust and dependence... they aren't treasures that will draw me nearer to God and they certainly won't gain me wealth in heaven... even permission to enter the gates.  I have been reminded this week that God placed me here for a time and a season... that the treasures I am collecting through the experiences of this life are the jewels of knowledge, wisdom, discernment, faithfulness, love, and peace... treasures that only God can give.  Without these treasures, this earthly "rich girl" will never make it to eternity... so here I am again... at the foot of the cross, laying down the burdens of my own selfish human desires and working for the jewels that really matter...

Until tomorrow, 
Peace give I to you, not as the WORLD gives, give I to you; Peace give I to you...
~Sara

Moses in the basket

Last week, I finished reading Genesis... Long story short, Joseph's brothers returned to Egypt with their families and their father (Jacob); Jacob and Joseph were reunited; Jacob named his twelve sons and foretold the twelve tribes of Israel; Jacob died... Joseph died... their families remained in Egypt... and now we're on to Exodus.

Side note: that was a VERY concise synopsis... if you have some extra time, spend it reading the book of Genesis... it really is an interesting read... it kept me captivated. 

So anyway, Exodus... along came Moses.  It was Pharaoh's decree to have all the male children born to the Hebrew women killed at birth by the midwives, leaving the female children to live.  From what I understand, the Egyptians felt threatened by the growing Hebrew population and in an effort to reduce their numbers, the Egyptians began mistreating them and forcing them into slavery.  This would ensure a stronger race of people, similar to the more modern ideals of Hitler and the blonde-haired, blue-eyed "superior" race.  The Hebrew people, however, were faithful and could not bring themselves to kill the innocent baby boys who were being born into the world.  One Hebrew mother gave birth to a baby boy and kept him hidden for three months, until she couldn't conceal him anymore... to hide him, she made a basket to keep him safe among the reeds in the Nile River.  When Pharaoh's daughter went down to the riverbank, she found the baby in the basket and sent her maidservant to find a Hebrew mother to nurse him.  The princess adopted the child as her own and named him Moses, which means "I lifted him out of the water."  

What a story, right!?!  It just keeps getting more and more interesting.  Long ago, I had heard about the baby, Moses, in the basket, in the river but it was vague in my memory... and now, after having spent some contemplative and meditative time going over the story of how Moses came into the world... Moses, who led the people out of Egypt... Moses, who heard God's voice in a burning bush... Moses, who parted the Red Sea... MOSES!!!... I understand it so much better... so much clearer... and it's solidified in  my mind and heart.

This is a hopeful story of how Moses was saved... God chose Moses and kept him safe.  He has a lifetime full of faithful obedience ahead of him.  His mother knew he was special and she kept him hidden until she couldn't anymore.

Have you ever known that you were in a special place at a precise moment because God was at work?  It feels good to be called according to His purpose... to know that He will save you from the perils of this life on earth to further His kingdom... so that others can know Him... through YOU.  You are special... you may have been hidden until the right time... God may have tucked you into the safety of the reeds... protecting you because He loves you... until it was time for your life to be revealed... to others and, eventually, to you.  

Rest peacefully tonight, my friends.

~Sara

Mark 6 - A patchwork illustration of Jesus' nourishment

The scripture passage for this journal entry is Mark 6:30-46 - the story of Jesus feeding the 5,000.  Go ahead and click on the orange-hilighted link and read the passage.  Doing so will help you understand my ramblings that are about to follow.  Go ahead.  I'll wait....

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Oh great! You're back!  That's a great story, huh?  There's a lot of imagery in Mark's depiction of this miracle that Jesus performs.... and I'll talk about those images, but first, I want to point out a few things...

1. Jesus and the apostles were tired, hungry, and worn from their ministerial endeavors across the land. Jesus recognized the need to rest and he encouraged his apostles to sit a spell for some rejuvenation. 
2. On the way to their resting place, a few people saw that they were headed in the direction of the mountain - to which Jesus often retreated to pray.  Word spread like wildfire that they were going to be in that location and because they had heard about Jesus, people came in droves to hear him.  They were hungry for God.
3. When Jesus approached the crowd, his heart broke.  He saw many people, seemingly wandering in aimless directions and the picture before him reminded him of a flock of lost sheep with no shepherd.
4. Even though Jesus and the apostles were tired, weary, hungry, and flat-out exhausted, they knew that God was calling them to continue.  They didn't blink at the opportunity to spread the Gospel.... they just went back to work... without complaining.

Now... about those images.  While reading this passage, several images crossed my mind.  

1. The image of Jesus and the apostles... tired and on their way to rest.
2. The image of seeing all the people gathered on the grass waiting with baited breath to hear Jesus speak.
3. The image of the people rushing to get to the place that they had heard Jesus would be.
4. The image of the flock of sheep, wandering aimlessly in the field.
5. The obvious images of the five loaves of bread and the 2 fish.
6. In The Message translation, the image of a patchwork quilt of wildflowers spread out on green grass (vs. 39) is used to describe what Jesus saw when he saw the people gathered on the hill.
7. Jesus blessed the bread and broke it, lifted his face to heaven and then fed the people.
8. The disciples gathered 12 baskets full of leftovers after everyone had eaten.
9. There were 5,000 people present for this miracle.
10. Jesus sent the disciples out in the boat towards Bethsaida.
11. Jesus blessed the crowd and dismissed them.
12. Jesus climbed the mountain, alone, to pray.

That's a lot of imagery!  How do I choose which one to focus on?  Which one should I illustrate?  Decisions, Decisions!

The image that drew my attention first was the "patchwork quilt," so I decided to illustrate the story using the idea of a patchwork quilt. 

The center is a cross, representing Jesus.  I drew 12 sheep, representing the 12 disciples and the 12 baskets of leftover food... but also reminding me of the imagery of the sheep without a shepherd.  I drew 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish - reminding me that Jesus fed the 5,000 with little physical food but their hearts were full.  The people sat in groups of 50-100 people, which made me think of circles of friends (depicted by the circles).  The Shepherd's staff reminds me that Jesus is the Good Shepherd and he will tend his sheep - even when they are lost, he will go and find them and bring them back to the flock.  The green represents the grass and the blue represents the water.

In this story, Jesus satisfied the people and fed them spiritually first... then he satisfied their human need for physical nourishment and fed them with food. Priorities in line.  Jesus saw His flock wandering aimlessly... and he tended to them.  Jesus and the disciples may have been tired... but they did not give into fleshly desires.  They could've easily ignored the crowd and gone in another direction to continue on to rest... but they didn't... they did what God called them to do - to feed the flock - WHEN He called them to do it.  They recognized a need and they filled it. What a wonderful world this would be if we all approached challenges this way, huh?

I'm going to leave you with this tonight.  What character(s) in the story do you most identify with?  The hungry crowd?  The anticipating people?  The weary disciples? The compassionate Shepherd? The lost sheep? The onlooking Father?  

Today, I've felt like a lost sheep... but I know my Shepherd's voice and I am doing the best that I can to listen for it so I can find the path that He wants me on.

Goodnight friends,
~Sara 

Just keep reaching... Mark 5:21-43

Today was a ... day.  

It was full of high "ups" and really low "downs."  It was full of prayer... and tears... and laughter... and conversation... and pain... and peace... experience and growth.  

This evening, I focused my study on Mark 5:21-43... It begins with the story of a woman who had been bleeding for twelve years.  As Jesus made his way through the crowd to see a girl who was very ill, this woman squeezed through people to reach Jesus because she had heard about him. She had been ill for 12 years - consulted MANY doctors - paid MANY dollars - and still had not been healed.  She said to herself "if I could just touch the hem of his robe, I will be healed" as she reached for the hem.  Jesus knew, as soon as she had touched his garment that healing had gone out of Him and he asked "who touched my robe?". 

Picture this... Jesus is walking through a CROWD and stops to ask "who touched me?".  His disciples must've been thinking "are you serious?"... you're surrounded by people and you want to know who touched your robe? 

As Jesus continued to look around, the healed woman, realizing what had just happened in her body because of His power, fell at his feet and told him what happened.  Jesus' response was so merciful... He simply told her that she was healed, not by the power within him, but by the faith that she had in Him.  

She reached... and reached... and reached... until she could brush her fingers against the mere hem of Jesus' robe.  

In times of need, when I pray to God, I always picture myself reaching up to hold God's hand, as if I were a child reaching for the hand of a parent prior to crossing a busy road.  I may spend days, weeks, months, or even years seeking help from those here on earth, but my help comes when I reach for God.  So in light of the occurrences of the last week and especially today, I am reminded to just keep reaching.  Yesterday, God said "I am with you."  Today, His message for me is to remind me to reach for Him.  

Lord, thank you for the gentle reminders... and the not so gentle reminders that you give me to encourage me to seek you in all situations.  Help me reach, Lord, beyond myself... beyond those around me... beyond this world... Help me reach for your hand - even if I can only reach the hem of your garment, I know it will be enough.

Peace give I to you; not as the world gives, give I to you... Peace give I to you.

Until tomorrow,

~Sara

"I AM who I am." Exodus 3:1-15

Who am I that you would send ME, Lord?  I am a sinner... I am no better than any of them... I am hated... I am judged... I am too fat... I am too skinny... I am too short... I am too tall... I am not faithful enough... I have doubts... I slip and fall... I am weak... I am bold... I am misunderstood... 

You name it, Moses thought it.  Don't we all?  This Exodus reading tells the infamous story of Moses and the Burning Bush.... an experience that told Moses that he's either 
A.) going crazy or 
B.) God's really busy.  

Either way, these are extraordinary circumstances!  This passage really spoke to me today because over the course of the last couple of years, I have asked God the same question... "Who am I that you would send ME, Lord?"  Over and over... situation after situation... circumstance after circumstance... conversation after conversation... opportunity after opportunity... obstacle after obstacle... and day after day... Why would you choose ME?  Of all the dedicated, faithful, more appropriately placed, equipped people in all the world, why ME?  

God's answer?  "I will be with you."  

Let that sink in for a second... God says - every single day - "I. Will. Be. WITH. You." - and He wants us to say "Ok, Lord... I surrender."  He prepares our path... and not only does He go before us, HE WALKS WITH US!  How blessed are we that we, God's chosen people, get to walk hand-in-hand with our maker - for as long as we are willing to hold His hand.

I trust you, Lord.  I trust that you've gone before me... that you are WITH me... and that you will continue your work after I'm gone.  Help me, O Lord, to remember to hold on and embrace your hand rather than pulling my own hand away and shoving it deep into my safe, warm, private pockets.

Until tomorrow... Peace, my friends... God is calling you.
~Sara

Genesis 43:1-15 and Mark 4:35-41

In Genesis, Jacob, the father of 12 sons faces a difficult decision.  As he struggles with the task set before him - trusting the fate of his youngest son as he is used as a barter tool in a test issued by his other son, Joseph - Jacob trusts God to grant mercy on his children, regardless of what the outcome may be.  Jacob may lose his beloved youngest son... a result that would break his heart. And yet, he grants his sons a blessing of mercy on the journey ahead.

In Mark, the disciples and Jesus set out in a boat to cross the lake.  As they made their way, a fierce storm arose.  The disciples were scared and they woke Jesus asking whether or not he cared if they were in danger due to the storm.  Jesus responded with a profound thought... he said "Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?" and then he commanded the storm to be silent and still... and the storm settled immediately.  The disciples were astonished at what they had seen.

These two passages really spoke to me today.  Jacob proved himself to be an honest man who is willing to accept God's will, regardless of the consequences or heartache that it might bring.  Jacob shows his faith in the goodness of God in this situation.  

Over the last couple days, I've been anxious and heavy-hearted about a recent situation that has come to light... questioning myself as time passes and nothing happens.  Today's scriptures reminded me to trust that God is at work - I trust God's goodness and am reminded to trust that I followed His guidance in the hard situations of this week.  Through these passages, God spoke to my heart - Do not be afraid - do you still have no faith?

Lord, thank you for your voice - the voice that whispers to my heart in the moments that I most need to hear it.  Help me, O Lord, to trust that you are at work and that you have granted mercy to me in each and every task that lies before me.

Peace my friends,

~Sara +

John 15:1,6-16

In my reflection tonight, I followed the S.O.A.P. method to guide my study.  You can read more about this method here.  

S. (Scripture): John 15:1,6-16
For today's Bible journaling, I sought today's Daily Office readings (Psalm 15, Acts 1:15-26, Philippians 3:13-21, John 15:1,6-16).  For a more in-depth explanation of how I choose what scripture to journal on, read this post. You can find and read today's scripture here.  

O. (Observation):
Key words were "abide" and "remain"
Key phrases were "my words abide in you" and "I call you friend"

A. (Application):
As I read through the scriptures several times, I began to see images in my mind.  This passage of scripture brought to mind several images and it was difficult to choose just one... so I incorporated many of them.  
I taught my weekly class tonight and we discussed many of the key words, phrases, and visualizations/images that caught different people's attention.  My Bible journal entry reflects many of the things we talked about and was inspired by a collaboration of the participants' ideas.  
Today, I faced a very difficult situation... a circumstance that I felt led to deliver a message... It was not received as it was intended and the person felt attacked.  It broke my heart that this is how the situation played out and my heart is heavy, knowing that the pain they are experiencing is due, in part, to the message I delivered.  For months, I have prayed for this person and about situations I have observed or endured. Last night and this morning, prior to speaking with them, I remained in prayer... I read scripture... I sought God and I felt burdened by the task that was ahead of me.  I feel I did the right thing and tonight's scriptures confirmed that for me.  I did abide in God... in His word... in His Spirit.  I did seek His guidance and Godly council and I did hear His voice.  I did lay this burden at the foot of the Cross and it IS in God's hands.  Tonight, despite the happenings of the day, I am at peace and I have had an unexplainable peace throughout the past 48 hours.  I know that this is a result of trusting God.  I know that He will uphold me in my own weakness.  I have been physically and emotionally exhausted but I have been revived spiritually through abiding in Him.

P. (Prayer):
Help me abide - remain - live in you, O Lord... so that your words remain top-of mind.  Guide my actions... guide my thoughts... guide my words.  Thank you, Lord, for your presence and your peace. Amen.

Peace give I to you; not as the world gives, give I to you. Peace give I to you.
Until tomorrow,
~Sara

Genesis 40 - He noticed.

Genesis 40 describes two different dreams, dreamt by two different imprisoned men, the King's baker and cup-bearer (highly trusted officials in the kingdom).  Neither of the men knew how to interpret their dreams and this made them sad. When Joseph saw them, he noticed that they looked upset so he asked them what was wrong. The men responded to Joseph, telling him of their dreams but were worried because they had no interpreter to explain the meaning of their dreams.  Joseph uses this moment of anxiety to point their attention to God when he tells them that interpreting dreams is God's business and asks them to share their dreams with him.   

The cup-bearer had a dream of a grapevine with three branches and the branches brought forth blossoms and grape clusters. In the dream, he was holding the Pharaoh's wine cup, so he squeezed the grapes into his cup and placed it in Pharaoh's hand.

The baker had a dream about three baskets full of bread stacked on his head, the top of which had pastries especially for Pharaoh. Birds came and ate the pastries from the basket on his head.  

After hearing the dreams, Joseph then interprets the meanings of the dreams and predicts their fate. In three days, the cup-bearer will be restored to his office and will place the Pharaoh's cup in his hand as he did before he was imprisoned.  In three days, the baker will be hanged and birds will peck away at his flesh.  Joseph asked the cup-bearer to mention his name to Pharaoh so that he might look on Joseph with favor and free him.  

Three days passed and Joseph's interpretations of the dreams came to pass, just as Joseph had predicted, but the cup-bearer forgot about Joseph in the presence of Pharaoh.

To begin this Bible journal entry, I visualized each of the men's dreams.  Tonight, I illustrated the cup-bearer's dream.  Tomorrow, I plan to illustrate the baker's dream.  

The key phrase in the passage that really caught my attention is verse 6; "When Joseph saw them the next morning, he noticed that they both looked upset."  So I thought about this quite a bit... and it made me wonder... How often do we see folks who are upset and not notice?  How often do we notice things and not act on our gut feelings?   Not only does Joseph discern how these men were feeling, he also engages them and asks them to share their worries. Beyond that, he reminded them of God's role in their dreams and lives.  

Joseph could've been so engulfed in his own affairs that he didn't notice the men... but he wasn't.  He could've noticed their anxiety and ignored his observation... but he didn't.  He could've asked and responded in judgment.... but he didn't.  Joseph saw an opportunity to connect... with these men and with God... and he seized that opportunity.

Lord, help me to notice... help me to discern... help me to have the courage to act when you nudge me to do so.  Help me to remember to act in ways that will point others towards you... not me.  Thank you, Lord, for your guidance in my life... in my friendships... in my marriage... in my ministry... in my parenting... in my studies.  

In Him,
Sara

Luke 4:1-13

Remembering today that I, too, need the Holy Spirit to lead me and help me to resist temptations so that God's Will may be accomplished through my faithful obedience.